However why couldn't I have just let it die it's own death when he stopped talking to me, and now we are both talking again.like I say "something" keeps bringing us back no matter how much time passes. However now we have talked every day again for nearly a week. I didn't reveal who it was to him but he figured it out on his own. A week ago I txt him again with a different number, well he responded of course. I tried txting and calling him for months after and he'd not respond. we'd seen each other a few times, then out of the blue he stopped talking to me totally with no explanation why. We hadn't talked for a couple of years and then I found him again April 2008, from there we talked EVERY day till Dec. But here we are as I say something keeps pulling us back together I do want to be with my husband, he adores me and we have no marital problems at all, I just have this nagging need for my ex and not a need strong enuf that I'd leave my marriage for him, he'd never leave his marriage for me either. I love the lifestyle that I have with my husband and my ex could never give me that. I know it would never work because my family can't stand the ground the man walks on and his family doesn't like me either.
I've had many boyfriends but none that ever had the power over me like this guy does. I have done a lot of soul searching and keep coming up empty as to why this man seems to complete me. The hurt of losing him some nights is as real today as it was 17 years ago when I left him. I don't want to be with him, I KNOW that there is more chance of a pig flying than him and I ever having a real relationship again, but I can't get him out of my mind. He is my biggest weakness in life and just can't seem to figure out why. I keep telling myself use your head on this one, you've been married a long time, I DO love my husband and want to be with him, you don't need to talk to your ex, and keep thinking next time he texts me that I just won't reply.but I always end up replying. I ask him not to that saying that only confuses me more but he just keeps saying "but I do and I always will". Problem I have is that I don't have that, and can't seem to get it as my ex will still tell me he loves me. Maybe then I can truly commit every inch of my heart to my husband and be truly happy. Even if he refuses to talk to me, I'll know how he feels and can move on with my life. I don't know where it is going to lead, but I have to talk to him. That is why I am currently working on contacting my ex. Do you think that people who get no closure from their partners ever really get over losing that person? From my experience, I would have to say no. So I guess you could say that I also love two men, but for very different reasons. Several months later I met a very nice man who helped to distract me from the pain I was feeling for losing my ex. Then something happened and we were separated, I never even got the chance to say goodbye to him. We talked about marriage and were very much in love. My ex and I were high school sweethearts and for the first half of college.
I have never told anyone or acted upon it. I have also been married for several years but still love my ex. I don't have any advice for you but I can say that I am in the same boat you are. Am I fooling myself to think that my ex and I could have back what we once had? I am very confused because I think that what the ex and I had was never really over, I was forced to leave him so now we have the unresolved issues that we are dealing with.
I do not want to tell my husband because if I do then he leaves me and then the ex never leaves his wife then I will be alone. My husband is my best friend and we have had this kind of talk before that if either one of us wanted out that we should discuss it so that we do not end up hating each other. I have fallen back in love with him but I also still love my husband. Well things have now progressed with us and we are having an affair. The things that he started to tell me is what I wanted to hear from him 20 yrs ago. I never thought I meant that much to him since he was constantly cheating on me and also got a another girl pregnant (who is now his wife). He expressed to me that I was also his first true love and that I hurt him when I left him. He came to visit me once and then I ran into him a few years later at a club but nothing came of it. They moved me to another town to get me away from him. He was my first love and my parents hated him. It was very innocent for a couple of days and then we started talking about us. He wanted to catch up with me and see how I was doing. About 3months ago I received an e-mail from my ex-boyfriend from 20 yrs ago.
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